Time moves

I was listening to a song recently where the chorus was the young man never thinks he’s going to die.

Now I get it, it sounds morbid right, but it is true, we for the most part of our lives amble around not caring or wondering when our day is going to be complete, until like me you hit a bump in your journey and everything comes tumbling down.

I find myself in a most strange position these days, in August last year I was told that I had a new tumor growth just to the left of where it all started. I was assured it was not part of the original one, no regrowth of the gunk that caused so many problems but a new growth.

I missed my holiday that month and sent my wife and kids away whilst I went through all the same treatment phases, scans, bloods, face mask and finally radiotherapy for a hour. I was treated and sent on my merry way to wait until the 3 months cycle returned and I lay in the machine of doom and waited 4 weeks for my appointment, to be told that there has been no change and the tumor although now reduced in size slightly has not grown.

I wait another 3 months and I am told the same news, its positive and slightly negative at the same time, that strange middle ground where I now live. Always waiting for the 3 month cycle to move forward and live another 3 months.

I’ve learned to not focus on this fact, it is now as much a part of my normal life as breathing or eating and one I must learn to live with.

Still, as I aways say to people it could be :)